Shyness – how to fight it?

It takes approx. 6 minutes to read this article

Shyness is an affliction that affects many of us on a daily basis, reaching varying degrees of intensity depending on the person and the situation. Shyness is a very common and harmful phenomenon, so it has to be combated.

The feeling of intimidation is not alien to anyone. However, when it keeps recurring, becoming a source of discomfort and inner suffering, it is no longer just a temporary feeling, but an affliction that you need to fight. Learn 12 effective and reliable techniques that will help you.

Look Inside Yourself

Realize that no one is looking at you. In fact, most people are too preoccupied with themselves to notice your supposed flaws and awkwardness. Instead of seeing yourself as if you were doing it through another person’s eyes, look inside yourself and identify your thoughts and beliefs. Once you realize what intimidates you, ask yourself why that is. Self-awareness is the first step in changing and improving your life.

Find your strengths

Each of us has some strengths and a different way of expression. It is important that you know and fully accept your talents, even if they deviate from the norm. Find some thing you have a talent for and focus on it. Discovering this strength within yourself will value you and awaken your natural self-respect, making it easier to get in touch with your inner self. This is a short term solution, but it will give you the confidence you need to break through the barrier of fear you keep running into.

Love yourself

Learn to appreciate yourself and love the person you are. With all of its strengths (but yes, you have them!) and weaknesses (yes, even with them!).

Engage in what makes you happy, express gratitude to your body, give yourself time to get to know yourself, and find time to be alone with yourself.

Focus on others

Instead of focusing on your own anxiety or awkwardness at a party or meeting, turn your attention to other people and what they have to say to you. Show interest in other people and encourage them to talk. Ask them questions and follow up on what they have said.

Don’t conform to others

Trying to make yourself look like others is rather exhausting and not much fun. Understand that you have the right to be yourself and be different from others. Accept that you may not be perceived as a sociable and popular person, and also that you may not want to be perceived as such. In the end, popularity does not bring happiness

Accept rejection

Be aware that you may face rejection and learn not to take it too hard to heart. Remember that you are not the only one it happens to. All of us have faced rejection at some point. It’s part of life and part of the learning process. If you prepare yourself mentally for such an eventuality, it will be easier to go through the experience.

Photo by Ilyuza Mingazova/Unsplash

Take a deep breath

Sometimes anxiety and fear act completely overpowering, such as when you want to overcome anxiety and make your presence known more. To calm down and get your nerves under control, use this simple technique: take a slow inhale and a slow exhale, freeing your mind of all thoughts. Breathe deeply with your eyes closed, focusing on this activity.

Play sports

Anxiety can be seen as blocked energy that demands to be released. Let out that energy that is suffocating you by doing physical exercise. Running and brisk walking will help you channel the blocked energy. Physical activity allows you to rise above a stressful situation and changes your state of mind, making you look at the problem from a new perspective.


Meditation is helpful in many areas, not only in the fight against shyness: it relieves stress, brightens the mind, motivates..

So get into a comfortable position. You can simply sit down, not necessarily Turkish, or lie down. Start being aware of all parts of your body, from the toes to the top of your head. Each time you focus your attention on a particular body part, tense the muscles connected to it for 3-5 seconds, then relax. Repeat the exercise until you reach the top of your head.

Play a team sport

Regularly playing a team sport, such as soccer, basketball, volleyball or field hockey, is excellent exercise. Sports promote our health both physically and mentally. Team sports also give you an added benefit: they allow you to fight shyness.

After the first meeting and after the integration, the effects are of course not as visible as at the beginning, when you join a new group and you have to fight against intimidation: say hello, introduce yourself, show interest in the other team members, answer questions… Nevertheless, playing in a team will allow you to develop socially and get out of the isolation caused by excessive shyness.

Sign up for theater classes

Drama classes are also helpful in overcoming shyness. You fight your fear of ridicule, work on your diction and posture, meet new people and perform in front of an unknown audience. One class and so many benefits!

True, it will be difficult at first, but over time your shyness will simply melt away.

Face uncomfortable situations

Sooner or later you will have to do it. The sooner, the better. Because the more you avoid situations that generate your shyness, the more you reinforce it. You feel relief for a while, but in the long run you harm yourself.

Instead of running away, put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Make it the engine of your growth. Observe your mental state and ask yourself the following questions: why do I feel this way? Did something happen that makes me feel this way? Is there any other way to explain what is happening?

In conclusion, to conquer shyness, you must be willing to face it. Each time you face it, it is up to you to decide whether to face it or chicken out and run away. Remember, though, that as you make evasive moves, shyness will become more and more paralyzing to your life.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

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