Complaining is a very Polish trait. Many people of other nationalities also strongly attach themselves to negative thoughts and events. Complaining, unfortunately, can significantly reduce our motivation, we become more indifferent to the positive aspects of life. We become more unbearable and sad to those around us. What can you do to complain less and enjoy life more?
Make an inventory of gains and losses
We can learn to complain from our environment. In many cases, we find that we don’t have much reason to complain. Let’s check if we have reasons to do so, or maybe we are whining for the sake of whining?
Let’s ask ourselves the questions:
- What has worked for me lately and what am I proud of?
- Do I have successes that my loved ones are happy with?
- How do others perceive me and am I a failure?
- Am I satisfied with my life?
- What elements of reality annoy me?
If we find trouble spots that really drive us crazy, try to change them. Just complaining and seeing the negative aspects of life will not fix the world, much less our own.
People who complain are often marasmic and stagnant. On the one hand, they don’t like anything, on the other hand, they don’t look for reasons why this is happening. And there can be many – maybe it’s a bad and toxic environment that prevents us from achieving our goals, or our personal circumstances don’t allow for change.
Not knowing what is upsetting us also makes it hard for us to change. Noticing the facts is the first step to kicking the habit of complaining and starting to pursue our goals.
Don’t adapt to the environment around you
Complaining is in the blood of many of us. Maybe our family complains a lot, or we have friends who at get-togethers tell us about their unfair and bad lot. If we spend time in such a company, whether we like it or not, we get this catastrophic mood. We can try to change our attitude, but also that of our friends and family. The current situation does not fill us with optimism, but it is worth supporting and comforting each other in difficult moments.
Everyone has the right to be in a bad mood or to want to “talk it out”. However, persisting in this bad habit may even cause us health problems, including neurosis. Let’s distract others from our problems and do the same when we feel like complaining. If you think that you have something to be happy about, because you can finally meet your family, you’re healthy or you have a roof over your head, then complaining will go by the wayside. There is a grumbler in every company, so change the topic of conversation to one that is more pleasant and upbeat.
If you focus only on bad thoughts and catastrophic visions, you will unfortunately devote less energy to solving problems. You could call it a vicious circle – we complain, we feel relieved for a while, but then the bad thoughts come back and ruin our mood. We repeat the same mistake over and over again without looking for a solution.
To get rid of the habit of complaining for good, you should cultivate Gratitude. Japanese culture also calls it ikigai, or the art of living a long and happy life. Instead of focusing on bad moments, reminiscing about them, and poisoning your mind with negative energy, ikigai advises us to be calm, but also to be grateful for what we have.
This is a good choice if we want to feel better. Without mental burdens, with a better attitude towards the world and positive energy, it is much easier to solve everyday problems.
We can be grateful for all the good things that have happened to us. Family, friends, a good job, close friends, time to ourselves, sunshine outside the window, a roof over our heads – most people can enjoy these elements of reality. They complete our world and make us feel better.
Why do we complain?
Complaining is related to the structure of our brain. This most important organ in our body does not like inactivity. During rest, when we are not engaged in specific activities, we often have various thoughts, not always positive. They cause neurons to branch out to other neurons, thus ensuring the flow of information. If complaining is repeated, then there is a risk that this habit will stay with us.
There is also the phenomenon of mirror neurons. It involves us naturally sensing the moods of other people we surround ourselves with. The more time we spend with someone, the easier it is to feel and even think the same way as that person.
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